Couples CounselingWhen beginning couples counseling, we work on finding out where you, as a couple, stand on 3 Basic pieces of your relationship:
1. Committment - Are you both committed? Or, do you have one foot out the door and another foot on a bannana peel?
2. Good will and Intent - Do you believe that your partner has your best interest at heart?
3. Understanding - Are you interested in seeking to understand your partner, or are you only seeking to be understood?
The goal of couples counseling is to increase communication skills and move toward greater intimacy and understanding.
One way of increasing communicatin skills using couples counseling therapy techniques is by differentiating between intent and effect. Many partners believe that intent and effect are exactly the same, so that a communication that was experienced as hurtful is automatically assumed to have been intended as hurtful. So one goal in couples counseling is to move the couple from thinking "because that message hurt, she or he must have wanted to hurt me" - toward "I am feeling hurt by that message, what did my partner intend to say and why am I feeling the way I am."